Whether through dating apps, social media, sexting, or porn, the search for sexual connection and satisfaction plays out more often on screens than in our bodies. Mashable’s “Sex, Hacked” series serves as a refresh so we can all have better sex in the digital age.
When I began trying to hack my own sex life for this series, I learned that — like most purported “life hacks” — the idea of a one-size-fits-all magic bullet for better sex doesn’t exist. We can’t hack into the mainframe of our genitalia, pound away at a keyboard, then download a fix for whatever firewalls are keeping us from experiencing more pleasure and satisfaction.
But what sex hacks can do is begin to show us what’s behind the programming of our sexuality. That’s why, as I embarked on my months-long expedition, I dubbed it my Maiden Voyage: a journey into the uncharted territories of how modernity is changing sex and intimacy.
Read on for some landmarks to guide you along the way of your own voyage into the sea of new sexual possibilities.
The world of sex toys has never been more inviting, inclusive, and destigmatized than right now, offering new possibilities for women and other marginalized identities to explore their sexualities.
Or at least, that’s what should be happening in theory.
After months of rigorous experimentation with about 30 of the award-winning and most lauded high-tech toys available, we’ve got bad news: The vast majority of high-tech sex toys may turn your love life into a living nightmare. From smart cock rings marketed as “Fitbits for sex” to a multitude of smart “interactive” vibrators, the internet of dongs is currently a sea of expensive gadgets that promise to blow your analog sex out of the water while often failing to deliver on basic functionality.
Mindful sex covers a wide spectrum of methods, philosophies, and uses for applying meditative practices to sexuality. There’s a different approach for everyone, from the pragmatist to the spiritualist, the practiced yogi or the meditation-intolerant. To the uninitiated, mindful sex can sound like a laughable contradiction, or god forbid, summon images of Mike Meyers in The Love Guru. But it couldn’t be more logical or intuitive in practice when you learn to trust yourself.
Your relationship to sex is not fixed. It doesn’t matter if you have high or low libido, lots of experience or no experience: Hacking your sex life is a journey we can all benefit from.
The work of giving ourselves permission to understand more about our sexual selves is never over. And that’s actually kinda awesome.